" I called you so we could talk dirty," she said in a kittenish voice."And you're doing a helluva job," I said. "Seldom have I participated in such an arousing conversation!" I really am wearing underwear," she said."Terrific. I believe you. What a turn-on!" But I've pulled over to the side," Maria said."You've -- pulled over -- your underwear?" No! No, silly! The car! I pulled over to the side of the road. Oh. I didn't tell you, I'm on my cell, in the car. I've been down to Bowie to see my Mom. I'm heading back home, but I wanted to call, before it got too late. What time is it there?" It's 9:45, Central Daylight Time," I said."Oh, good! "Maybe you shouldn't be sitting alone there, in the car. Maybe you ought to head on home, and then call me," I said."Oh, I'm not alone in the car," Maria said. "I've got -- uhh -- Chuck here with me." Chuck." Yeah. From the University? Chuck's a varsity swimmer. Great body! Sleek! And those Speedos! Hmmm! Memorable!"I wasn't concerned about the. It's stupid, really." What?" Jack, it's OK. I was expecting something to happen and it didn't. No big deal. Alright?" Nope. I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me what you mean." That. What you're doing." What? Asking questions?" Yes. No. Dragging something out of someone." I don't understand." You were quiet but I could tell you weren't happy with me and were pushing me away. I thought I'd have to twist your arm to get you to tell me. That's all." So you'd rather I kept everything buried inside of me until you can dig it out, huh? What if you don't? Should I just let is sit there and smolder and fester until it explodes?" Boy, talk about mixed metaphors. No, I don't want you to hold it in. It's like there's this job the female's supposed to have in a relationship. She says 'Honey we need to talk' and he grumbles and then she sits down and talks for a couple of hours, telling him how whatever he does bothers her. That's when she throws in the stuff like you calling me.
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